Esther Perel as a Relationship psychologist has done many researches on couples which claimed they can’t trust their mate anymore.they also cant find any answer of question “Why some couples finds cheating enjoyable?” they claim they are victims of infidelity.
Usually people cheat when they feel they no longer love each other maybe because of marital dysfunction but sometimes it happens when they have really no problem together and everything seems alright.
So why infidelity occurs when everything is ok and couples loves each other?
“It’s the quest for lost parts of one’s self, it’s the quest for a sense of aliveness, for vitality. It’s a quest to reconnect with the unlived lives.”
why sex adventure is so attractive that some couples finds cheating enjoyable?
In such conditions, being unfaithful isn’t about compensating of love failure, it’s about self-discovery. Disloyalty is more sign of exploration and sex adventure.
To someone who’s just been cheated on, the excuse “I’m sorry, I was just trying to find myself” and it might be cold comfort, but Esther believes
“When people seek the gaze of someone who isn’t their partner, it’s not always because they’re looking for another lover. It’s often because they’re looking for another version of themselves.”
“Human beings have a tendency to look for things in the places where it’s easiest to search for them rather than in the places where the truth is more likely to be found,” Esther says.
For some couples, focusing on the familiar territory of their relationship and blaming it for causing the infidelity is easier than delving into the complexities of a partner’s existential crisis and trying to understand it.
“Affairs are about hurt and betrayal and deception but they’re also about longing and loss and self-seeking,” says Esther.
Although infidelity is not forgivable but it has become an usual phenomena in modern society’s.